I’ve Been Away.

When things get rough, I have a tendency to disappear.  This habit has repeatedly caused rifts in friendships, careers, etc., and often brings more stress than necessary.  I shut myself out from the world and burrow myself deeper and deeper into whatever mess I’ve gotten myself into, only dealing with it once it gets to the point where I’ve got no other choice.  This has been the case yet again, hence my several month hiatus.  In that amount of time, I’ve grown and changed immensely, which I’m sure will reflect in future content.

Here’s to a new beginning!xx

Magazine Clippings

Leave school to write poetry

Make friends with empty streets

The only perfume you wear comes from magazines

And try as you might, you can’t figure out what the graffiti means

Fill your veins with coffee

Until you feel real again

Let the cold sink into your skin

Until you can feel again

Bury yourself in books and poetry

Stare down at empty streets

Cover your walls in pages from magazines

And hope you can figure out what all of this means

Before you become just another teenage tragedy

3.8.17

I just want to feel something!

Is a bit of normality too much to ask for?

Why do I keep thinking about you?

Why am I still thinking about you?

I DON’T WANT TO!!!

What are you?

What am I?

What are we?

Just the ghost of something that once could be?

HELP ME!!

It seems I can’t BREATHE.

I’m stuck in the in-between and the edges are no longer parallel.

Maybe this is NONSENSE but so is LIFE.

Love

Part of me is forever laughing with the girls in the street,

Big dreams in our minds and gravel under our feet.

Small town blues and water tower love

Will eternally haunt all the streets that we drove.

 

Late nights and early sunsets

Are the times I don’t ever want to forget –

All dressed up with nowhere to go,

Who’d have guessed we’d ever reach this low?

 

We meet outside the school, at half past three –

I smile at you, and you smile at me.

My life is nearly over, but yours is just beginning –

I thought I was losing, but now I can see that I’m winning.

 

And I love this life that we’re living,

And I love this lie that we’re telling;

I love this all so much –

I love you, don’t you know?

Photo Album

I think in some alternate universe

I’ll be trapped forever inside these

Deep purple walls,

Looking outside the window and watching

The boys in their jumpers

Racing eachother on shiny new bicycles –

Two wheeled memories that will someday only be a metaphor

Of nostalgic comfort and

Wasted youth

 

He told me to smile more

But he didn’t realize that the only time I ever smiled

Was when we were apart,

Polaroids featuring my fleeting grin decorated the walls

None of them taken by him

And his selfish hand that only loved my smile

Because of the way

It reminded him of

The other girl

 

His name is forever immortalized in my

Leather bound photo album

Whose pages are

Tearing at the seams so much that they

Can hardly even hold

A note taped to the back of a photograph

Of a girl who had no idea

What she was getting

Herself into.

A Poem For February

I’m not saying that I’ll miss you

But I don’t want to let you go

Your brown eyes are the only warmth I can find

In this cold midwestern snow

 

Maybe the ice can freeze the clock

Or at least make time move slow

It’s time that you’ll be leaving soon

But I don’t want to let you go

 

Winter’s only got six more weeks

Or so says the groundhog’s shadow

So just lay with me a moment more

Before I have to let you go

 

And when the ice breaks

Making us move our separate ways

I’ll swim across the frost bitten ocean

Just to see you once again