Magazine Clippings

Leave school to write poetry

Make friends with empty streets

The only perfume you wear comes from magazines

And try as you might, you can’t figure out what the graffiti means

Fill your veins with coffee

Until you feel real again

Let the cold sink into your skin

Until you can feel again

Bury yourself in books and poetry

Stare down at empty streets

Cover your walls in pages from magazines

And hope you can figure out what all of this means

Before you become just another teenage tragedy

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3.8.17

I just want to feel something!

Is a bit of normality too much to ask for?

Why do I keep thinking about you?

Why am I still thinking about you?

I DON’T WANT TO!!!

What are you?

What am I?

What are we?

Just the ghost of something that once could be?

HELP ME!!

It seems I can’t BREATHE.

I’m stuck in the in-between and the edges are no longer parallel.

Maybe this is NONSENSE but so is LIFE.

Love

Part of me is forever laughing with the girls in the street,

Big dreams in our minds and gravel under our feet.

Small town blues and water tower love

Will eternally haunt all the streets that we drove.

 

Late nights and early sunsets

Are the times I don’t ever want to forget –

All dressed up with nowhere to go,

Who’d have guessed we’d ever reach this low?

 

We meet outside the school, at half past three –

I smile at you, and you smile at me.

My life is nearly over, but yours is just beginning –

I thought I was losing, but now I can see that I’m winning.

 

And I love this life that we’re living,

And I love this lie that we’re telling;

I love this all so much –

I love you, don’t you know?

Photo Album

I think in some alternate universe

I’ll be trapped forever inside these

Deep purple walls,

Looking outside the window and watching

The boys in their jumpers

Racing eachother on shiny new bicycles –

Two wheeled memories that will someday only be a metaphor

Of nostalgic comfort and

Wasted youth

 

He told me to smile more

But he didn’t realize that the only time I ever smiled

Was when we were apart,

Polaroids featuring my fleeting grin decorated the walls

None of them taken by him

And his selfish hand that only loved my smile

Because of the way

It reminded him of

The other girl

 

His name is forever immortalized in my

Leather bound photo album

Whose pages are

Tearing at the seams so much that they

Can hardly even hold

A note taped to the back of a photograph

Of a girl who had no idea

What she was getting

Herself into.

A Poem For February

I’m not saying that I’ll miss you

But I don’t want to let you go

Your brown eyes are the only warmth I can find

In this cold midwestern snow

 

Maybe the ice can freeze the clock

Or at least make time move slow

It’s time that you’ll be leaving soon

But I don’t want to let you go

 

Winter’s only got six more weeks

Or so says the groundhog’s shadow

So just lay with me a moment more

Before I have to let you go

 

And when the ice breaks

Making us move our separate ways

I’ll swim across the frost bitten ocean

Just to see you once again

Soundtrack To My Life

I’ve been seeing this tag floating around the blog and YouTube communities for a while now, so I thought I’d give it a go, especially because music is a huge part of who I am and I always say that no one can ever properly know me until they listen to my favorite songs.  So, without further ado, here’s the Soundtrack To My Life Tag.

Songs You Listen To When You’re Happy:

I’ll listen to virtually anything when I’m happy, but these four songs are some of my favorite good mood tunes:

1.) Only If For A Night – Florence and the Machine

2.) The Boys of Summer – The Ataris

3.) Comeback Queen – Lolo

4.) She’s American – The 1975

5.) Born To Die – Lana Del Rey

Songs You Listen To When You’re Sad:

Usually when I’m sad, you can find me laying on my bed with my favorite Smiths’ album, Louder than Bombs, or an old Janis Joplin record blasting on my record player.  If I’m not listening to one of those, however, it’s most likely one of these four songs:

1.) Cotton Candy Skies – Sean Bolton

2.) Where I’ve Been Has Faded – Allegra Gellar

3.) Fever – The Tragic Thrills

4.) Wide To Receive – Morrissey

What Song Will You Have At Your Wedding?

I never think about this one much, probably because I’m 15 and couldn’t see myself getting married even anywhere in the next ten years, honestly.  I’m kind of perpetually single and can’t see myself being tied down by a relationship.  However, if I were to choose a song to play on my theoretical wedding day, it would probably be We Found Each Other In The Dark by City and Colour.

What Song Do You Dance Around Your House To?

The short answer for this is anything with a major key and a good beat.  Some of my favorites are:

1.) Goosebumps – SHINERS

2.) Is It Really So Strange? – The Smiths

3.) Where The Hell Are My Friends – LANY

4.) Charlemagne – Blossoms

5.) Naive – The Kooks

Songs You Play In Your Headphones When Out And About:

When I’m out and about, I like listening to songs that give me a boost of confidence and that extra “pep in my step”, if you will.  Chances are, I’ll be humming along to one of these:

1.) Patti Peru – Public Access TV

2.) Criminal – Fiona Apple

3.) Cool Slut – Chastity Belt

4.) Mom Jeans – Heyrocco

5.) Guys My Age – Hey Violet

A Song You Would Play At Your Funeral:

This is another one I don’t think of much, though I do joke that I’ll be disappointed if my funeral isn’t a reenactment of Helena by My Chemical Romance (I honestly wouldn’t be mad at all if someone went through with that – once an emo kid, always an emo kind, am I right?) I know that I’d probably want something slower, but in a major key, possibly Wild World by Cat Stevens simply because it’s always been a favorite of mine, or Nana by The 1975 because it’s only fitting.

Songs That Make You Lose Your Shit At A Party:

1.) Kiss It – Dorothy

2.) Jake Miller’s House Party – Heyrocco

3.) Brand New Moves – Hey Violet

And, of course, any upbeat 1975 song (I’m still waiting for Love Me to come on at a school dance so I can go crazy).

Last Song You Listened To:

At the very moment I’m typing this, I’m listening to Broadripple is Burning by Margot and the Nuclear So and So’s.

What Song Do You Work Out/Exercise To?

I don’t exercise much, honestly, but if I were to, I’d listen to FUU by Dream Wife and Moaning Lisa Smile by Wolf Alice for sure.

Your Guilty Pleasure Song?

This one would have to either be Bubble Gum Bitch or Can’t Pin Me Down by Marina and the Diamonds.

Your Karaoke Song?

I don’t sing Karaoke, but if The Boys Of Summer comes on, you bet I’ll be belting out every lyric no matter where I am.

Songs With The Most Memories Attached: 

1.) Hurt – Johnny Cash (Nine Inch Nails cover)

2.) Wild World – Cat Stevens

3.) I Don’t Like Who I Was Then – The Wonder Years

4.) The Sound Of Silence – Disturbed (Simon and Garfunkel cover)

Songs That Make You Cry:

1.) I Don’t Like Who I Was Then – The Wonder Years

2.) The Sound Of Silence – Disturbed (Simon and Garfunkel cover)

Favorite Song Of All Time:

This one has to be a tie between Wild World by Cat Stevens and Broadripple Is Burning by Margot and the Nuclear So and So’s.